The Gonzo Diplomat

Posts Tagged ‘Germany’

Eurovision…nil points

In TV/Movies, Uncategorized on May 30, 2010 at 3:31 am

So yet again Eurovision is over and, as usual, there is a certain grimness and unhappiness  about Europe’s cheesiest music festival. However, there has been a pleasant surprise in that this year’s winner has not been a typical ex-Soviet satellite country, but the nation who has participated in the most Eurovision song contest, and who had previously only won once in nearly sixty years. That country was Germany, one of the Big Four nations in the Eurovision Song contest.

Lena Meyer Landrut: Eurovision Winner

 Whilst the term Big Four contributes to the nations who financially contribute the most to the contest, Germany proved that their participation could be more than just economical. However, I cannot help but believe that there was more behind their victory this year.

 The first time I heard nineteen year old Lena’s song “Satellite”, was over two months ago, whilst in Germany. She had been the chosen one for Eurovision after winning on a show called Unser Star für Oslo.  Since then, the song has been played almost continuously on German radios, as well as in some of their neighbouring counties, and several Facebook and Studivz pages have also spread the word that Lena was a serious contender.

 The song is mediocre, and her English accent is dire, and you can notice the exaggeration in her voice as she desperately tries to sound like some sort of Kate Nash or Adele. However, the second time you hear it, the song begins to stick in your head, and the third time, you may even get to like the melody.

After a week I kinda liked it too.

 Her performance last night was also average. Before she appeared I told the people around me to watch out for this song because it was a potential candidate. However, her usual cuteness and peculiarity was hidden behind a dull black dress and a languid expression. She barely moved as she sang, and in a stage where most people exaggerate and express too much eagerness, she strolled around the stage singing her song as if it was mere protocol. I found myself having to excuse myself, insisting that the song “was catchy if you heard it a few more times”.

 That is why I am almost convinced that a great deal of the people who voted for Lena’s song must have heard it at least more than once, for the mere image she gave on the night in Oslo was not convincing enough. I was certain Denmark’s typical Eurovision material corny song was going to triumph.

 However, at the end of the night Lena summed up 246 points and won the contest for Germany for the second time in their history, the last one being in 1982, and the contest will not be taking place next year in Romania, Azerbajan, Turkey or Armenia, but slap bang in the middle of Europe. In a way, that is good news as every year, the contest has been losing more and more credibility.

 Yet how Lena actually pulled a win tonight is incredible in itself.

 What must be frustrating for the other members of the Big Four, is that nothing else has changed. France’s song sounded more like a World Cup song than a Eurovision Song contest contender (there is a thin line between the two, but the line exists). There song Allez Olle Olé, finished in twelfth place. Spain’s song, Algo Chiquitito (Something tiny…what is that about?), by Daniel Diges, some kind of Spanish Art Garfunkel look-alike, was also lacklustre, and was only livened up when someone from the crowd jumped on stage to join in the waltz and ballet with the cringe-worthy dancers. It was the public who were punished though, as the song had to be re-sung as a result of this.

 As for the other member of the Big Four, the United Kingdom,  their tediously dull and unmemorable That Sounds Good to Me, by Josh, was excessively punished by the other nations. If Spain could complain that their arrogant French neighbours had not given them any points, they could at least be glad that Portugal did their part. The UK got no help, and even less, only managed to sum ten points. That is, 236 points less than the winning nation, and last place in the contest for the third time in eight years. It just makes you wonder how long it will be before the British Public beg to no longer attend the Eurovision Song contest, as it ultimately is a farce.

 Yet for now, the show will go on, the whining will have to be reserved for each nation, and one can only congratulate the winners, Germany, and each person can hope that next year their nation send the worst possible singer they can find to try and ruin that cheesy debacle that is the Eurovision Song Contest.

Top Five Moments:

  1. Spain’s intruder: For the first time, a song had to be re-sung as a member of the crowd jumped on stage and sabotaged Spain’s song, making it the only thing memorable about this boring piece.
  2. Armenia’s cleavage: You wouldn’t be able to hum Armenia’s tune, or even remember if it was a ballad or a dance song, but you sure as hell cannot forget the cleaveage Eva Rivas exposed in Oslo. Special mention must also go to Azerbajan and Georgia, for their beauties.
  3. United Kingdom…10 points. It was an awful display from the UK, even though the song itself wasn’t the worst of the lot (Portugal’s Disney-esque rip off should perhaps have gotten the worst marks), yet it proved to show that the Brits need to make more friends.
  4. Neighbourhood watch: Yet again it was good to see that Bosnia still love Serbia, Russia loves Armenia, Azerbajan and Albania, and in general, Finland loves Denmark, Germany has a lot of Turkish voters and France hate Spain. What is the point of this again? Is Italy the only country who realised how silly this is?
  5. Germany: The only thing that stopped this contest from imploding. The thought of yet another contest in the Eastern bloc or the Scandinavian states was getting nauseating, but Germany pulled a win to prove that the older European countries still have a chance, unless you are the UK…or Spain…or France…oh to hell with it.